UNDER CONSTRUCTION

You will notice many changes going on in the blog lately and I ask for your patience as I revamp, reorganize and try something new.  All your faves are still here and now there will be tabs where I can share various aspects of my craziness too!

Ignorant People Driving Around Town

Dear parents of children at my son's elementary school,

Now that school has been in session for a couple of months, I find it adequate time for me to bring up this pet peeve of mine and hope that you will all understand.

The parking lot is a ONE WAY parking lot with 3 parking areas and multiple parking spaces.  One lane is for parking during pick up times and the other lane is a driving lane that should always remain open so folks can get out of the parking lot.

I realize that I can't expect your IQ's to be higher than the 15mph speed limit in the parking lot but for crying out loud!!!  The instructions are pretty clear, Park on the RIGHT, use the LEFT to drive through, yet this parking lot is full of idiots who think of no one but themselves and don't pay attention to the rules let alone the children who are trying to find their parents in this parking lot.

Why have I watched the SAME dude park in the middle of the lot, get out to find his kid, block the entire parking lot and have the principal knock on your window each time you do it, to explain the process to you??!!  Are you picking your kid up while you are drunk or just plain stupid???

Yesterday I am driving up and there are 3 lanes going in the 2 lane one way parking lot.  People parked on the right (as the rules state) and 2 lanes of folks parked in the middle and along the left side blocking people so they have to wait out in the street cause you are too stupid to figure it out.  Oh and not to mention the 20 open parking spots throughout the lot!  Just park in a spot and then drive out the DRIVING LANE when it is time to go.

Next time I am just gonna avoid all of you and drive up through the grass into a parking spot while waving my middle finger in the air at all of you idiots who cannot figure out the rules.  To those of you who, even after the police visited, directed traffic, knocked on windows and told you how it works, continue to park all over the place and show no care for the rest of the parents and students at school, watch out.  I have a loud mouth and I have no shame.  I am also a Mama Bear and your ignorance is upsetting my son, who thinks I just didn't show up to pick him up from school!

I swear we are dealing with the most ignorant people at the bottom of the gene pool here and I am sick of it.  Pay attention!!!  You AREN'T the only people in the world or in this parking lot!  IF everyone would park in the spots or along the right side and use the left lane to drive through, we could all pick up our children safely.  If people could get their heads out of their asses and pay attention to how the traffic should flow and how we can all be happy with the process, maybe all of us could pick our children up in a timely manner without pissing everyone else off.  For those of you who continue to be down right stupid as hell, I will AWD over top of your ass and park on the roof of your piece of crap hoopty car that is blocking everyone else, and I will squat and take a crap on your windshield!

Get out of my way and start using your brain for something other than figuring out a way to use and abuse the system and live off my tax money, all while sleeping the whole time your kid is in school only to wake up 2 minutes before you have to pick them up, in a panic, causing you to park anywhere you want and blocking the rest of us decent people/parents out of the lot.  Get a job.  Take a shower and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!  Your poor children, it isn't their fault they have idiot parents like you.

Sincerely,
One ticked off Mustang Mama

Good Day, Bad Day

You know the kind of day, (insert your name here) Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day kind of day.  Starts with oversleeping, realizing you don't have time to make coffee, realizing your put on a blue sock and a black one, forgot to bring your lunch and then some idiot decides to drive in front of you at warp GRANDPA speed and now you are even later than you were when you over slept.

The kind of day that starts with dropping everything you touch, forgetting some part of your morning routine that is CRUCIAL, like brushing your teeth or putting on deodorant.  You finally make it out to the car and the tank is below empty and payday isn't until tomorrow!

It is so easy to feel these days, really feel them, and remember them for what they are.  It is easy to talk about these days and tell people you A: woke up on the wrong side of the bed, B: Nothing is going right today, C: Should have stayed in bed today or D: ALL OF THE ABOVE.  It is also easy to complain and whine about these days and everyone you come in contact with completely understands because they have had these kind of days too.

What about the OTHER kind of days?  I am not talking about the I won the lottery day, or even an I won a small fry from McDonald's kind of day.  I am not talking about big achievements like a raise, promotion or getting a new job, not weddings and graduations and parties and fun events, just the normal, smooth, things made me smile today, kind of day.

Today I had one of those.  One of those smoothly going, yet nothing super special, put a smile on my face day.  We got up knowing it was gonna be busy.  Jon has to travel this evening and Henry not only had school but after school practice as well as boy scouts and I gotta get him to do the homework and eat dinner sometime while all getting to bed early enough for school and his math and spelling tests tomorrow. Whew!

The kids made it surprisingly easy to get ready and out the door this morning and Henry even got to wear his new sweater with the skulls all over it (thinking positive despite the drastic weather changes).  Callie and I stopped by Jon's work so she could see him, as she missed him by minutes this morning.
Callie and I played with her dolls and animals and threw a birthday party for her Puppy Pinky.  We then left to go look around at some winter wardrobe for her, she has near nothing in her size and I think I mentioned the weather change earlier (see above).

It was a pouring rain day today but we trudged out and hit up St. Vincent DePaul.  I have a need to dig through that store often because they have cool furniture and nick knacks that I love to play around with and sometimes you can find a good deal on certain things.  I wasn't expecting much, which made me even more excited about what I found!  Callie and I got started in little girl clothes and hit the jackpot!  We found 5 long sleeve dresses from Old Navy, Children's Place, Osh Kosh etc...  We found 2 pair of pants, a skirt and a fleece lined sweater coat too.  Everything was cute and in good shape and blah blah blah NOTHING was over $1.49! What did she say??  Yes, I spent less than $20 and ended up with nearly half a wardrobe and one happy smiling little girl.  We had so much fun shopping and we spent forever there just looking and digging and finding goodies.

After St. Vinnies we headed out to lunch with Jon, which is a blessing in itself that he works around here and can take a lunch break with us every day.  It was also a blessing because, with no warning from the sanitation folks, they flushed out sewer stuff and filled our home with the lovely scent of POOP/SULFUR just a few hours before, making it impossible to eat there!  So we Skyline scarfed down our lunch and enjoyed the sounds of Callie singing her ABC's for us too.

When it came time to pick Henry up from school, after his practice, she was in a grouchy mood.  I wasn't sure how the rest of this evening would go, but one look at Henry and she was all smiles.  He ran down the steps and gave her a huge hug and kiss and told her he missed her.  We walked out to the car and gave him the gift we picked out for him, a conch shell that was pointy and rough, to counterbalance the smooth one he has of the same size.  He was thrilled!

We came home and Callie wanted to show him her new clothes.  Now most boys would be like, "what the, NO WAY!", but Henry was enthusiastic with a comment for every piece of clothing she took out of that bag.  "That is cute, Callie!"  "Yeah, that's my girl!"  "A girl at school has that same dress."  "You are gonna look so pretty in that, Callie Anne."

We did homework and he aced his practice test.  He let Cal do the puppeting for the Little Red Hen, while he read us the story.  No complaints and plenty of sharing.  Then, the exact moment that I thought, this is one of those days, happened.  Henry announced that he earned a prize at school today for his good listening and behavior and he pulls out a toy for his sister.  He worked hard to earn that toy and the first person he thought of, was Callie, and how she would love that toy.
 
One of those smooth, easy, making me smile kind of days and I wanted to share it with you and remind you to look at your own days with new eyes.  Sometimes those uneventful days are just the perfect kind of days and honestly they are the majority of our "norm" and I hope yours too.

Little Kid, Big Responsibility

I have noticed that children and mainly PARENTS of children, seem to give their kids a free pass when it comes to rules and behavior because, "they are only 2" or "they don't know any better" or even "I'm too tired to fight this battle."

While I admit that I fail sometimes in the parenting and setting a good example department, and that many times I am so exhausted that I don't want to make it a battle, I know and feel that the major way for children to learn is to be taught by their parents.  It is my job to teach them how to be contributing members of society.  It is my job to teach them respect and to value teamwork, common courtesy and kindness and it is my job to explain the Rules of Society to them as well as the consequences of their own actions.  We as parents are molding them into the adult they will one day be, and it is not a job to be taken lightly.

For example, I always wanted to be a stay at home Mommy.  I value education and parental involvement in your own child's education and I firmly believe they need the time at home, one on one at times, to begin building a basis for their education.  I believe children need to experience life and the real world in a safe and fostering environment.  I do NOT however, think this is the choice for everyone and I also do not judge those who choose not to stay home, or just don't want to be at home with the children all the time and feel they would be most productive for their family by working outside of the home.  If staying at home was all sleeping in, eating bon bons and doing nothing all day, I am sure many more folks would jump on board!

Henry was and is such a well spoken little boy and has been since he was just over a year old.  I get compliments all the time on his language and ability to have a conversation.  I think it is just because he learned how to speak by watching me and talking with me one on one when he was a little guy.  He wasn't learning from all of the other little ones running around the classroom and stuff like that.

Both of our children have a healthy love of books, which started at a young age.  How do you get them to sit and flip through books and not chew on them, draw on them and rip them up?  Well, the library has always been a weekly outing for the kids and they know the rules.  They have left the library with NO books when their behavior isn't playing by the rules and likewise they have walked up to the librarian to request books from other libraries in town when the topic doesn't seem to be covered at our main branch.  Why and How do they know these skills? Because I taught them, that's why.  I took the time to explain the rules of the library.  You must whisper when talking and not run around the library, people are doing work here and like it quiet when they are reading.  Can't find a book you are looking for because it is at another branch?  Write down the call number (with Mommy's help of course) and take it to one of the librarians asking politely, "Could you please request these books for me?"  There were tougher lessons as well, lessons involving admitting to your favorite librarian, who happens to be a relative, why you ripped up a book when you were angry or why you drew in a book that you knew you shouldn't be drawing in.  Lessons like counting out the money in YOUR bank and paying the librarian for the damage you did to said books.  These lessons were learned quickly and never have been repeated, but taking responsibility and having consequences are two very big life lessons and I am just glad they could be experienced on a smaller level.  To them, it was a very large scale lesson and is was also a lesson learned.

There are a ton of things that kids are too little or too young to handle, I can see and completely agree with that.  What I don't agree with is lowering our expectations because we deem things to be too complicated for the kiddos.  Another example of this with my own children is when they want to buy something at a store.  We don't buy toys for no reason.  Birthday, Christmas and an earned reward here and there, but we don't just go buy toys every day, even though we want to sometimes.  If there is something they really want, we open up the piggy  banks and count out the money.  When we head to the store I have them carry their own money, choose their toy or stickers or whatever we came shopping for and then I let them pay.  Would I trust them to walk around with 50bucks in their own pockets? Hell No!  There is no reason why they can't carry THEIR $5 and pay for THEIR toy and then get THEIR bag as we leave the store.  It gives them ownership, teaches them to value their own money and it makes them feel like they are super big kids too.

We may have expectations that are a little high for our children at times, but we also have children who are constantly getting complimented on their manners and behavior, so we must be doing something right.  I am no "parent of the year" and I break down and scream like a banshee at times too.  I make parenting mistakes daily I am sure, but I always have the best intentions and I have never worked as hard at any other job I have ever had...EVER.

It is hard to let go of some things and let them be "big people", from a parent's perspective.  Henry is in first grade this year and started a whole new school.  A school where I have to drop him off and he has to walk in...BY HIMSELF!!  I dreaded it and was like, "How in the heck am I gonna be able to watch him do that??!!"  Of course, after a little more than a week, he is just fine and even though it was hard for me to let go, he is JUST FINE.  I pack his lunch everyday because he is nervous about the lunch line.  It is foreign so he would rather just eat what Mom packs, but the day is coming when he will want to take some money and try it out, and I have to let him do it.  I have realized in these situations that I am just as scared as he is, but I can't let him KNOW that.  I have to put on a brave face because he needs to know that I have prepared him for this, he needs to be confident in his abilities, and he needs to know that I support his efforts and decisions.

Talk about a nearly impossible task for a Mom!!  I want to protect him from every humiliation, every mistake, every struggle.  I can cry right now just thinking about someone making fun of my boy, or calling him names and making him feel inferior.  I am terrified of the first time someone talks him into something that his head and stomach say no to and I am scared that his peers will influence him more than we have and he will make bad decisions.

These things can and will happen and all I can do is hope I have prepared him, taught him and raised him well.  I am so relieved that this is on a small scale right now, but it starts here and it starts now and I find no reason to lower my expectations of what an incredible, smart, responsible and amazing person each of my children can learn to be.

Kids and Pools

I tried to think of a clever name for this post, but then I realized that this title says it all.

Kids and pools.  This summer has been pretty amazing for us as far as the pool goes because it is the year that Henry took off his arm floaties, put on the mask and jumped into the water and took off!  He is diving for sinking toys, jumping off the side of the pool, doing flips and flops and holding his breath and trying new things in the pool every single day.
This is also the summer that Callie watched her brother and threw out all of her fears and worked hard to learn how to swim as well!  She jumps off the side of the pool and swims to me, she tries to dive down and get the dive sticks and she is working hard every day to get better and better and become a stronger swimmer.

This is so great and for ONCE since I have had children, the pool is FUN!  There were years when I couldn't do a trip to the pool alone because they both needed me so much.  There were times when I would have to stay out of the sun with the newborn who couldn't wear sunscreen just yet, while someone else got to play with the other child.  I haven't had a tan in 7 years!!

So now that I can relax (just a tad) going to the pool is so much fun for all of us.  I am so proud of how far they have come and how hard they are working, and we still have several weeks left!

Yesterday at the pool we were lucky that there weren't a bunch of people there so Henry could swim around while my Mom kept an eye on him, and Callie and I could camp out on the steps practicing swimming back and forth.  It was supposed to rain later in the afternoon so we decided after an hour or so that we would take our last jumps and swims and head home.  Lots of folks were doing the same thing cause the clouds were moving in so as I am standing close to the steps and sending the kids over to Grammy to get dried off, I was watching them walk away when another Mother hollers, "Grab him!!  Grab him!!" to her son.  I turned to see where she was pointing and saw a bobbing red headed little guy right behind me.  I had to jump at him to get there quickly and I scooped him up.  I wiped the water out of his eyes and said, "Are you ok baby?" and he nodded yes and I think both of us were in complete shock.  I handed him up to Mommy and said, "Here's Mommy." and she clung to her little guy.  My heart was racing and I was near tears.  We packed up and I walked over to Mom so I could check on the little man, who was munching fruit snacks with a smile on his face.  We chatted for a minute and I told her one of my mantra's, "We Mommies have to stick together."
I cried the whole walk to the car.  Couldn't shake it for the rest of the day.

Today we headed back to the pool, finally no rain in the forecast!  We spent two amazing hours there and had so much fun.  Daddy even surprised us with lunch and spent his lunch hour watching the kids swim, for the first time :)  It was so cool.  I gave the kiddos the 10 minute warning, that we were headed out shortly, and they were getting in their last jumps and what nots, when one of the little girls from the other day walked up to the edge of the pool.  I was standing by the railing at the steps and I recognized her and her family when they walked in.  On the previous day, my Mom had commented to her mother how beautiful her curls were, so we both recognized her right away.  This time it wasn't just she her 2 siblings and Mom but Dad was along and another friend with children too.  Turns out they were there to celebrate one of her brother's birthdays with a pool party.  Mom was getting things unpacked and set up, Dad was sun blocking the older two who both could swim well and the youngest peanut was standing by the pool, gripping the railing, looking like she was headed into the pool. I said to her, "Do you swim without floaties?" Of course she is under 2 so she doesn't really say anything, but she is smiling at me.  I ask one of her siblings, "Can she swim without floaties?" and he answers "yes!"  As I said, I remember her from the other day and I am pretty sure she does NOT swim just yet.  So I let her hold the rail and take the steps and as soon as she steps off the last step and goes under, I scoop her up and she clings to me for dear life, and I to her.  I held her for a moment and walked her out of the pool, where she ran to Mom and asked for floaties.  Mom was in shock that she was soaked from head to toe and looked around to try to figure it out and of course, I walked up to her to introduce myself and talk to her.  Callie says, "Mom, it's like you always say, you Mommies have to stick together."

I am often, "in the right place at the right time" and I am ALWAYS looking out for what is going on around me especially when children are involved.  When I spoke to my Dad about this, his reaction was, "what the hell were these parents doing while their kids were drowning in the pool?"  I realize that I could have thought this same way, what irresponsible parents, this would never happen to ME, what were they doing?  BUT I didn't. Not even for a second.  I argued with my Dad that these things happen so fast.  In both cases the wee ones were following their older siblings lead.  One big bro was washing he and the little one off at the shower, while Mom packed up their gear, from the CLOSEST chairs to the shower and he decided to jump back in even though she told him it was time to go...and little brother was right behind him.
In the second case, the big siblings, who could swim reliably, took off to the pool with little sis in tow.  Mom thought Dad was watching, Dad thought Mom was watching, there were more than enough adults yet...off to the pool she went.

I am so happy that God put me in the right place at the right time.  Both of these babies were in his arms just as much as they were in mine in the pool.  I am proud that my own daughter knows that "we mommies need to stick together."  I am also humbled that these moments happen to GREAT parents, responsible parents and loving parents.  This could happen to any one of us and it is not a result of negligence in any way.

I would like to enjoy the rest of the summer without crying at the pool every stinking day!  If God puts me in the right place at the right time again and again I will thank Him. I just hope if the situation is reversed that He will put someone in the right place, at the right time for my own babies.

I feed birds...and other woodland creatures

I was realizing today, as I threw out the crusts from the toast I made the kids for breakfast, that I feed birds.  I always make sure to break up the bread and feed the birds in the front or the back yard whenever I have some that is leftover or that I need to get rid of...fast forward to the zoo.

It may be hard to follow my train of thought here but bear with me when I tell you that every time we are at the zoo and the kids want to check out the bird house I always reply the same way, "uh that's a Daddy thing and I am not going in there."  I can't tell you how many times I have been dive bombed by some dumb bird!    It also smells like total CRAP in there AND it is humid as hell.  Why does anyone want to go in there?

I HATE birds!  Seriously, I hate birds.  There isn't too much I find interesting about them, they aren't cute really, they poop all over everything including PEOPLE!

My friend K80 was laying out on the beach with me and a sea gull pooped on her stomach!  So she gets up to run down into the water while all of us are laughing our butts off and while she is walking back up to the sand, another one poops on her shoulder!!!  RUDE!

Anyway, I digress, I don't like how birds start chirping at like 3am when I am trying to sleep!  They are so freaking loud and ANNOYING!  I can't believe that people actually want to own these things as pets! DISGUSTING!

That all being said, I feed them at my home.  What?  We have a pair of Mourning Doves that have been with us for 5 years now and I love dearly.  We have a Cardinal couple that laid eggs in their nest built in our front landscaping this year.  We have Robins who built a nest between our home and our neighbors and we watched their babies hopping all over the place.  I explained to my children how we want the birds to know that they are safe here so we must stay away from the nest full of eggs and soon to be babies and we must feed them to make sure they are getting enough food.

I HATE BIRDS!  What in the???

You Bought a Car without an Engine???

Dave Ramsey has alot of sayings that you will hear often if you listen to him or read his books.  Some of my favorites are "Beans and Rice, Rice and Beans"  "Don't try to keep up with the Jones's, the Jones's are broke" "Managing your finances just like Grandma used to" and my all time favorite, "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else."

It is a cornerstone to the life Jon and I have made for ourselves.  In paying off debt and all that stuff, we learned to make decisions completely differently than we had been and we changed our way of thinking as well.  The other way wasn't working and now we have a way of thinking that some people think is CRAZY and more recently, we were asked if we were "struggling."  I wanted to laugh out loud!  3 years ago when we had 15 or so bills a month, car payments and credit cards as well as student loans and 2 children to clothe, house and feed, we were struggling, BIG TIME.  At that time we appeared to not be having a financial hard time I guess because we had 2 new cars and OK jobs and a house etc...We were "keeping up with the Jones's" and we were broke and then some.

We changed our way of thinking, planning and spending.  Recently we purchased a car, with cash.  It is a 2004 Subaru Outback and it is in great shape.  Well, all except for the engine.  We had to purchase and engine as well as get some new updated parts.  While you have the engine out you might as well replace some of those things.  When all is said and done we will have a car that KBB's at 11k (with the condition and mileage) and we will have put just shy of 4k into it.  I realize this isn't for everyone and I can honestly say that if my husband weren't a motor head who sold auto parts and received a discount as well as having a good friend that is an incredible mechanic, we would NOT go about this type of adventure.  This may sound like struggling to you but it is the second time we have done this with a vehicle and I am sure we will do it with many more in the years to come.  Although my Subaru is gonna run forever baby!

Struggling.  I will let you be the judge.  We have a home that we have never missed a payment on, 3 paid for cars, just flew our family out to VA for vacation and were able to stay in a swank hotel on the beach with the kiddos, we have upgraded several things in our home, our kids are wearing Nike's OK!  We put in all new landscaping, have bought and paid for a trip to Florida in September, I am able to stay home with our kids full time and work VERY part time, we have benefits for the family, food in the refrigerator, all our bills are paid by the 7th of each month and there is money to spare.  We don't pay for student loans and we don't have a credit card but we have about 10k in the bank right now.  We sent Henry to a private preschool, which we paid for in full, in cash at the beginning of each semester.  We write 4-5 checks a month to pay ALL of our bills and we no longer have to worry about creative financing at the end of the month.

This is hardly struggling.  We learned to live not only WITHIN our means but BELOW our means in order to have the things we wanted in our lives.  We wanted a stay at home parent...BINGO.  We wanted paid for vehicles and no payments...BINGO.  We wanted to take vacations and spend our money the way we want to...BINGO.  We wanted to sell our home and move to a better school district and are in the process of doing this as well.  It is a completely different mind frame and not everyone understands it still.  People look at us and must think that Jon is getting paid way more than he actually does or that we have some inherited money or something.  Our neighbors have made comments as we are putting the house on the market, "well if I had as much money as you..."  When in reality, they probably have MORE money than we do but CHOOSE to go further into debt to "keep up." 

We aren't rolling in the dough, but we have everything we want.  We don't impulse buy things anymore, but we do plan and ignore the wants of things immediately.  We research, we budget, we make our money work for us.  I have never felt more at ease with our financial situation and more at peace with it as well and it isn't a worry at all, AT ALL, anymore.  You may feel like this is "struggling" but I am here to tell you, it is most certainly not.  Don't worry bout us, we are living like no one else and it is the best kind of living there is!

Go Ahead, Pick the Flowers!

We can all go back to a time, in our childhood, where we remember the springtime and summertime flowers blooming.  There were tulips and daffodils, daisies and roses and all kinds of beautiful colors on bushes, trees and in people's yards.  The people who plant them want their yard to look bright and cheery and the kids walking by them want to pick all of the beautiful blooms and give them to Mommy.

I couldn't even tell you how many times I heard, "Amy DON'T pick that!" or "Those are for looking at, not touching." I can also remember the look on Mom's face when you or your sibling walks in with tulips that although beautiful, didn't come from your yard and she knew she was going to have to apologize to the neighbor for her child destroying their garden.

Kids do not discriminate with flowers.  They will pick the bulbs that come up year after year and the dandelions that you are working hard to get rid of and all the while they just want to bring something beautiful to their Mommy, to say I love you Mom.

When Callie turned 1, we did not have a party for her.  Well, we DID have a small special tea party lunch for her, BUT we only had Gram and Papa and the rest of the day I told other friends and family they were welcome to stop by to see her.  She was so shy that at her brother's party 2 months prior, she hid and cried at all the commotion in the house.  Obviously I knew it was not a good idea, or her idea of fun, to have a get together at the house.  So instead we kept it casual and when folks asked what they could bring for a gift I simply said, "A Perennial or a pack of seeds."  That's it??  Yes, that is it.  We are going to plant her a flower garden along the fence.

This was probably one of the best ideas I ever had and for so many reasons.
The first being, I allow the kids to pick any and all of the flowers in the "Kid's Flower Garden"  They know that they aren't to pick other people's flowers, gardens etc... and they ONLY pick from theirs.
The second, it was very inexpensive for guests and easy to shop for them as well.
The main thing is that the kid's help to plant them, water them and take care of them and as their reward, they can cut them and fill the house with blooms without getting in trouble!

When we move, I will miss this house so much and for so many reasons and I will also take this tradition on to the new home and plant a bunch of flowers that can be picked and delivered to the people the kids want to show their love to.  I know that our wildflowers and daisies ALWAYS bring a smile to my face...even though they are usually covered with ants :)

That feeling...of entitlement

While watching the news last night I heard news about the new streetcar that is being put in place in Cincinnati,OH.  As "neat" and "fun" as that sounds, I have a hard time feeling that it is anything but a waste of taxpayers hard earned dollars.  We have taxi's, buses and car-poolers.  We do not have a subway or train system and I think our money would be better spent implementing THAT kind of travel system.  Cincinnati is trying to make strides to make itself comparable to other "big cities" by major renovations to run down areas, updated sports fields and coliseums, a new casino that is supposed to generate bazillions of dollars for the city, so why can't the money be a little better planned and spent?

It isn't just the LOCAL government that is messed up right now and that is just one of the issues, there are many more, but the federal government is making HUGE strides in making middle class folks lives harder and harder.  If the majority of folks are middle class than why are you shitting on them? Us?

We work hard to pay our bills, keep benefits for our families.  Benefits that are being cut, hours are being cut so that we can't have insurance at an affordable price so that people who don't or won't work can have free health care?  How does this NOT sound totally messed up to these people who are pushing for it?  For example, Jon and I were married 6 plus years ago and together we had $56,000 in debt.  We didn't file bankruptcy, borrow MORE money, or cry in our cheerios whining about how the government should bail us out of our student loan debt, car debt and stupid credit card debt.  All of the debts were results of our poor choices.  So we worked our asses off, cut back most of our "comforts" and lifestyle choices so that we could get out of that place.  We didn't ask anyone for "help" or to take it all away, we took responsibility for ourselves.

Taking responsibility is this total foreign concept these days.  What in the hell are we teaching our children?  Welfare and food stamps is becoming a "career" not a crutch.  If it is used the way it was designed to be used, it can really help people get on their feet.  Unfortunately it seems no one is using it how it is intended to be used and the rest of us are paying for it.  It is infuriating!

So we don't drive new cars (in fact none of our cars are less than 10 years old or more), we have a house payment that is affordable, we shop at the discount grocery, we wear hand me downs and we don't have the world's fanciest phones.  Jon works 50+ hours a week and makes sure we have health insurance and the proper insurance on our home and vehicles and yet if we need to go to the emergency room, it is a $500 co-pay!  Unless my arm is laying across the room, we are NOT going there for any kind of care!  I will give myself stitches while I bite on a stick!  Yet, everyone who is using the emergency room as their "Dr.'s Office" will continue to go, rack up bills that will be completely forgiven, get their free prescriptions and WE will continue to pay out the ass so that THEY can have health care.  What ever happened to survival of the fittest?

People aren't taking jobs because they think they are being paid too little for their "valuable" time.  Their valuable time that would be better spent sleeping in everyday, sitting on their ass in an almost paid for apartment or home, driving their cars newer than mine, not paying for their groceries, health care or cell phones and just coasting by on life while I work my butt off!  Can you tell I am peeved??!!  Just a tad.

So again, we don't feel entitled or ask for any help nor to we expect it.  We are now trying to sell our home to keep our children OUT of the local public schools, the schools that OUR taxes pay for, for our children's educations.  What???  Doesn't that just sound messed up?  So we will put our home on the market and move to a "better area" and after doing research about the schools our children would go to IF we stayed here, we can't move fast enough.  The public grade school here has 78% of children on free or reduced lunch.  78%!!!!!  Holy Hell that makes me sick to my stomach!  Now I don't care at all if someone has less than me, the same as me, more than me whatever, but if 78% of people can't free up enough cash to feed their damn children, than I have no desire to send my children to school with those poor children.  I am not judging but I am telling you this, no matter what I have to personally sacrifice be it my cell phone, my cigarettes, my Cadillac, my $200 tennis shoes, my booze or whatever, I will ALWAYS be able to feed my children!!  I will always be able to find the money for bread and peanut butter.  I will NEVER have my children so concerned with where they will get their next meal that they don't care about their education or value education at all.  I also will never expect someone else to work hard and give portions of their hard earned money to feed my family, pay for our health care, pay for our housing or any of that.  I will not yell at the pharmacy when I have to pay $4 for a prescription when I usually get my prescriptions for $1, all the while having a cart full of things that my food stamps aren't even paying for anyway.  Can't afford the kids? Don't have them!  Oh that's right, you have to use your own money to buy condoms...oh wait now birth control is free so help your children, potential children and the rest of society by not having a family that you have no intention of taking care of and that you expect everyone else to take care of for you because the system has made it so easy for you to depend on someone besides yourself.

The system is creating generations upon generations of families and people who think welfare, disability and the like is a living.  People being lazy, people wasting time and people who have no pride because they work for nothing.  When will this government makes changes that will start to take care of the ACTUAL valuable members of society instead of making our lives more difficult?  I am beginning to feel that I won't see these kinds of changes in my life time but I will continue to vote for them and teach my children how to work hard, earn your life without a ridiculous lifestyle and do things they can be proud of, while setting good examples for their own future families.

Monetizing Craftiness

Ok, we all know that I am "crafty."  I like to think I am creative and that I didn't waste all that time and money paying back my student loan for my major in Art Education.  I love to create things for myself and other people.  I like the challenge of a new medium and I am not afraid to try anything I can get my hands on.  I actually think in my little head that I can make ANYTHING, whether or not I have done it before or it is brand new.

I made my brother's wedding cake and desserts for 100 or more people.  I made a topsy turvy cake and a bunch of cake balls and I had never tackled either of those before the wedding.  (well I practiced of course, for God's sake it was a wedding! Kinda important)

I make scarves and all kinds of crochet gifts for friends having babies or just best friends that need a warm neck in the winter :)

I have phases that I go through in trying new mediums and when I dive in, I DIVE in and learn everything I can about whatever new thing I am trying.  I have gone through jewelry making, wire sculpting, polymer clay beads, pens, picture frames, ornaments.  I paint furniture, picture frames, murals and room decor.  I crochet anything I can get a pattern for and I have recently started making soaps.  I make lanterns and buntings and greeting cards and dried flower jewelry as keepsakes and...  Honestly I think I can make anything and I love it!


I like to give home made gifts because of the time invested.  I think it is the most important part of the gift.  I learn something new, I love creating and designing the gifts and the feeling that I get when I share these gifts with others is immeasurable.

I opened an Etsy shop several years ago now and I still post things in the shop frequently.  I love when my friends contact me with an idea that they themselves don' t think they can make but have confidence that I can figure it out.  I have had friends ask me to show them how to work with different mediums like clay or crochet and I think it is fantastic!  I love making projects and helping others to be able to give homemade gifts as well.

My art comes from my heart and my desire to create.  Some of it is "fine art", some of it is "crafty", all of it is unique and all of it is a thoughtful piece of my heart.  Sometimes people buy these gifts, or materials for these gifts and sometimes I just give them because it makes me happy.  Monetizing my craft is NOT a full time job or a significant living, so to speak.  It is a Labor of Love and something I truly enjoy.  It is something that keeps me true to myself and defines my identity.  It also brings a smile to mine and other's faces and honestly that is payment enough.

 

 

Looking for a Great Game???

Are you looking for a game that is actually fun for the whole family?  This is the game for you!  This game is designed and geared toward preschool children and their families.  It supports the idea that if there is a winner, everyone wins together and if there is a loser, everyone loses together.  The game is framed so that everyone plays as a team and even the parents get to be involved.  The Goldbug Mystery is a search and find for everyone who is playing.  Every young child hates to lose and doesn't understand it, make it easier with a game that encourages team spirit and not a single winner or loser.  Best game we have ever been given hands down!  Thanks Dan!

Barefoot in the Snow

Last night before bed I told my husband,
"I am going to start our day differently tomorrow.  We are going to skip the slow morning watching a video and just chilling out and we are going to make a plan to play.  I am going to make sure Callie has plenty of attention."
I said this because she and I have been struggling and I will try anything.  ANYTHING.  I thought, "maybe she doesn't feel she is getting enough attention from Mommy" Hard for me to see as possible since I feel that I give her all the attention I freaking have each day, but none the less, I am willing to try anything to figure this thing out.

Well, the day definitely started different alright.  She was taking a 3 year old stand today.  She wasn't going to put her clothes on, simply because I asked her to.  She was running around being ticked off because her Barbie Styling Head had a knot in it and she couldn't be bothered.  I was patient.  I gave her a chance to do it herself or do it the hard way.  Imagine what she chose.

So I sat on her while I put her clothes on and she kicked me and stuck her tongue out at me and whatever else she did to fight.  I put her boots on and grabbed her coat and she fought the entire time.  As I am grabbing my wallet she takes off her boots and throws them across the floor.  I am more than done at this point so I told her,
"That is fine.  You can go to Henry's school without shoes on." 
She didn't believe me.  Silly Girl.  The whole drive in she is screaming at me to put her shoes back on and she will be good.  She is screaming, crying and begging me and I just told her that I already put them on once and if she wanted to wear them she could put them on herself.  Again, she didn't believe me.

As we are dropping Henry off at school and his sister is standing there in her socks, I am getting looks from all kinds of parents.  Normally I would think these parents are totally judging my parenting skills, but today I started to look at these looks a completely different way.  These other parents were looking at her bare feet, on a snowy day, and me and they were sympathizing.  They have all had those kinds of days.  The kinds of days where you have a kiddo that just doesn't want to cooperate, who wants to take a stand.  They are all tired and don't have the patience for that crap either.  They have been forced to follow through with a strong willed toddler.

That's right!  My daughter is in socks on a snowy day.  She decided to take a stand and I am not going to be worked over by a 3 year old.  When she threw her boots off to "make me mad" it didn't make me mad.  I was very clear that we were almost to school and if she wanted to wear boots inside, she would have to put them on herself, which she is capable of doing.  She made the decision to keep them off.  She went in barefoot and she was ticked about it.  I heard about it all the way home and for the first 15 minutes after we got home.  I didn't respond.  I'd take her in in her underwear if she actually thought she was going to demand me to do things over and over for her on her terms.  She is 3 and she is incapable of reasoning and making most decisions on her own.  I am not letting a 3 year old have control over this house or me.  These days are long and hard but I know that her strong will, will be amazing when she is a young adult out in the real world...if she lives that long :)

Make a Mess!

I am self proclaimed, "Bad at Playing."  I don't think I was always this way but now with two kids I feel I am terrible at playing.  I can't sit down and relax and just play.  I am constantly cleaning up WHILE playing or thinking of all the crap I have to do around here.  I am just no good at it.  As soon as I perceive the kids to be occupied, I am up and running and doing something else like laundry, dishes, putting things away etc...

I had this conversation with my husband last night, about how I just CAN'T enjoy playing.  I want to.  I wish I could.  All I can think about when I sit down to play is, "if I play now and contribute to the mess, all of this work will just be waiting for me when I am done.  Then it will be even worse than it is already!"  My husband explained to me that when guys hang out, they hang out while doing something.  They golf, work out, help in the yard or the house, work on cars and stuff like that.  Social time for dudes is active time.  Social time for women, in his male opinion, is spent chatting and forming relationships, so we don't have the patience for playing because we feel like we aren't doing anything significant and we are just wasting time.

Ok, so I don't let my husband know very often if he is spot on about us ladies or if he is so far off he can shut it.  I do think that some of what he said is valid.  In fact, he is actually very good at understanding my point of view most times.  He could sit around and play and completely destroy the house and have no ill feelings about it.  Of course he doesn't, because I will come behind and clean it all up right?!  I don't say that in a mean way, but it is true and it is just how we are wired.

I am conscious of this, which I think is half the battle, so I am working on it.  I am reminding myself everyday of the quality time I am so lucky to have with the kids, and that not everyone has this time.  Also, this time is short and it won't be long before they don't want me hugging them in front of their friends and they don't think hanging out with Mom is fun at all!  I don't want to look back and wish I had more time.  Living day after day with them, it is easy to forget this and just feel the stress and overwhelming feelings that come with parenting and running a household.  I literally have to remind myself every day to keep on top of it.  I will keep on top of it too, because I find my relationship as their parent to be an important one and I am more than willing to put in the hard work it takes to foster our relationship.  Gonna have my off days, but I love them and I take parenting them very seriously.

So this morning in an effort to be a better "player" I decided we were going to make donuts and we were going to make a mess!  It was so much fun!  We made the dough and I let the kids cut out all the donut holes, then I fried them and they covered them in cinnamon sugar and powdered sugar and there was sugar EVERYWHERE!  It was all over the kitchen and all over us and we had a blast!  Callie asked me what real food we were going to have to eat before we were allowed to have donuts...the donuts are the breakfast baby! 

This may not be "playing" in it's traditional sense but it was out of character for me, relinquishing control and letting them just be messy kids isn't easy for this OCD Mama, and everyone got along and had a good time and filled our tummies with more donut holes than necessary all in the name of fun.  I am working at this and I think that this is a pretty good first step in the right direction.

Money is Emotional

For those of you who don't know, my husband, Jon and I, have spent the last 3 years following the Dave Ramsey plan and paying off debt.  IF you don't know this about me, then we must have not every spoken before, because this is a huge part of our lives.

Right now I am putting together stories and tips and an entire memoir of our journey over the past three years in paying of our 56k in debt.  Re-living these moments and trying to put as much on paper as I can, to help anyone who is interested in reading, has been an emotional experience.

I remember the very beginning when I wanted to cry daily over the amount of bills that we had to pay each month.  We had 10 debts alone and with living costs we were writing 15 check or so a month to pay all of them!  Oh did I say "pay" all of them?  I meant "stay current" so our credit wouldn't get dragged through the mud.  We weren't getting ahead on anything and it got to a point where I couldn't even sit down to pay the bills without having a near nervous breakdown.  Jon started doing it and I couldn't even discuss it with him because of how stressed and anxious it made me.  I didn't even know what was getting paid or if it was getting paid!

Fast forward 3 years later and as we signed and sent our taxes out this year I have this weight lifted off of my shoulders.  As soon as we get this money back from the government, we will write the final check to my student loan and be DEBT FREE (except our house, which we are selling)!!!  Just thinking about this has me near tears.  We have spent three years learning how to communicate about our money.  Three years teaching our children how to manage money without borrowing.  Three years of celebrations and set backs.  Three years of checking off a huge list down to this one last debt to my college loan.  Three years of feeling like things were happening fast just to hit a point where things got to a stand still.  Three years of learning new ways to do everything and completely changing in our minds how we spend money.  Three years of changes that will empower our children so they won't suffer the same debts and struggles that we did.  Three years of feeling like "Yes we can do this!" and three years of feeling like "We are never going to get through this!."  I cannot believe we are here.  I cannot believe it!

Because we have paid off these debts and been diligent in doing so, making all kinds of sacrifices we couldn't imagine being able to make, so many great things have been awarded us.  The best part is that WE are the reason we are able to do these things.  For example, the debt may have been paid off a bit faster but I went PRN at work which means that we took about a 10k a year pay cut in our family.  Never would have been able to do that, if we hadn't nixed all that debt in the first 2 years.  We have only vehicles that are paid for and we paid for them all with cash, and we own three of them right now.  We were able to purchase a camper, in cash.  We were able to pay tuition to send Henry to Kindergarten.  We were able to take vacations as a family that were minor but paid for in cash and have given us amazing memories.  We are now able to put our home on the market and move to an area with better schools instead of being "stuck" here due to all of the money we owe. 

This is why I am emotional.  I want to cry tears of joy at how hard we have worked to change our future and our children's futures.  I do NOT miss the debt.  I do NOT want to cry because that step is over, but without the debt and the rock bottom, we never would have had this experience.  We will NOT be those people who fall back into debt, because we have changed our old habits completely and changed our way of thinking.  We appreciate necessity versus wants and we abide by them.  We established new rules and new ways of communicating that we continue to heed, despite now being debt free.  We are stronger than we have ever been.  One of the most important lessons had to be that we have learned how to delay gratification while still getting everything we want and need.

Thanks to Dave Ramsey.  Thanks to his show and his books.  We spent 3 years being "weirdos" so we could get to this point where we can really start living and we couldn't have done it without The Total Money Makeover.  We give him all the credit.  Thank you to God for helping us get through some really tough times and helping us learn to communicate with each other to figure them out.  This feeling is amazing.  This crying amazing feeling is one I wish for anyone and everyone who feels trapped by debt.  Get rid of it, be free of it and start living.  Make your money work for you and realize it is not how much money you have.  It is the time and your use of it, the quality of it, the time with your family that is most important. 

I am in tears writing and sharing this.  Amazing.

Always Magical

When I was a kid my favorite show was Sesame Street.  I loved everything about it, the songs, the numbers and letters, learning to speak Spanish, it was the most fun hour of each of my days growing up.  All that was really great but the treat of the entire hour was the Muppets!  The beginning of the show always had a sequence with the puppets of Sesame Street interacting with some of the human actors and I was always in awe.  I never felt like there was enough "Muppet Time" day after day, but I still tuned in to see what they would do.

The Muppets Take Manhattan was my all time favorite movie.  Watching Kermit ride a bike and Miss Piggy on rollerskates just had me completely stumped with my jaw hanging down while I watched.  The mice in the kitchen scene was one of my favorites.  Oh and when Joan Rivers and Miss Piggy put on makeup in the department store, classic.  I couldn't get enough of that movie.

I watched The Muppet Show and even though by the time I was seeing it, it was syndicated and in reruns I knew the theme song, I enjoyed the famous people that would come to be on the show and I even had the record, yes the record, to listen to the songs over and over again.

I watched Muppet Babies every weekend and when McDonald's gave out the Muppet Baby toys in the Happy Meal I was eating nuggets for weeks just to collect them all.

Fraggle Rock came from the Muppets creator, Jim Henson, and it brought just as much enjoyment and I was hooked on it as well.

Muppets Tonight was a short lived but fun version of a late show, with Kermit being the host.

There were several other movies like Muppets in Space and Muppet Treasure Island and the ever popular  Muppet Christmas Carol among others.  I couldn't get enough and I STILL CAN'T!!

We just borrowed The Muppets from the library and I realized that the magic is still there.  These Muppets just make me smile.  The people who were influenced by Jim Henson's Muppets come out of the woodwork to help and be in the films. The celebrities that want to work with The Muppets are so numerous, each movie is filled with them.  The feats and fun things that they have these Muppets do, physically, are just amazing and I just love them.  The emotions that you feel when it is just a puppet for God's sake!  The movies and the shows and the appearances are always satisfying and never a let down.  Kermit just brings a smile to everyone's face.

The other thing about Muppets is that everyone has their favorite.  Some people, like me, have multiple favorites and favorite moments and that is what I will leave you with today.

Animal as a drummer chasing all the ladies is BOSS.  Rowlf the dog was my family's favorite character.
Swedish Chef and his human hands?? need I say more?  The love affair between Miss Piggy and Kermie.  Fozzie Bear and his funny jokes and the crowd throwing tomatoes at him.  The two old men, Statler and Waldorf who give us their commentary whether we want it or not.  Gonzo the...what is Gonzo again?  His best friend and love, Camilla.  Big Bird on roller skates.  Snuffelupagus!  I could go on and on and on...

Rent a movie, rent the series, it will take you back in time and your children will enjoy it too.  These movies still bring smiles to all ages and generations and I still love them just as much as I did when I was 2 years old and started watching them for the first time.

I Need a Raise $$$

I have always been good with kids and I have always enjoyed them so much.  I feel that they are important and they should know, from an adult, that they matter to us.  I have always been really patient with children and have known from a young age that I wanted to be a mother more than any other thing I have ever wanted to be.

When I had a classroom full of children, I loved them all as if they were my own.  I made sure to make each and every one of them feel special and that I was happy to see them and spend each day with them.  We played and learned alongside each other, making me even more anxious to have my own children someday.  When I nannied for the Fox children I truly felt like they were mine.  I was so grateful to their parents for sharing them with me.  The love and the fun that we had together was amazing and honestly they were my very first "children."  I still love them like they are mine and they just solidified that I was meant to be a mother.

I have been a  mother now for almost 6 years and let me tell you, it is not all I dreamed it to be.  I love these guys so very much and have never loved anyone or anything more BUT I have never been so frustrated with people in my life!  I don't know what has happened to me.  I have NO PATIENCE, while I used to be the one that was so very patient.  I am so tired of everyone asking me to do something for them constantly all day long.  Parenting is exhausting. 

I used to pride myself in the fact that little Henry and I had places to go, outings to explore, parks to check out and projects to do day after day.  I NEVER turned the tv on and he was getting so many experiences and it was a blast.  I felt so lucky to be able to stay home with him and give him all of this and more.  He spoke so quickly and learned so much, just from being with an adult all day long and I loved spending the days with him.  I loved it so much that after a year and a half, I was ready to have us another little pal. 

Along came Callie, a sweet baby girl, and I was so nervous that I wouldn't know what to do with a girl and that I wouldn't be able to figure it out, but I looked at her sweet face and fell in love.  It was a learning curve for all of us.  I had to juggle two children and Henry had to learn how to "wait" a completely foreign concept to him since he was the only child and first grandchild.  The kid never had to wait for anything a day in his life.  She was an easy as pie infant.  Most of the time I was checking to see if she was still ALIVE because she was so quiet and easy going.  She was a drastic change from colicky Henry who had a witching hour from 3pm until he went to bed each night for months.  They were so different and it was so exciting.

Fast forward to a 5 1/2 almost 6 year old and a 3 1/2 almost 4 year old and I wonder where those adorable easy babies went! Each day brings new challenges and I feel like I belong in a nuthouse!  There is this whole new dynamic that is sometimes amazing and sometimes just awful.  Easy Callie turned into someone so difficult I wonder where I went wrong with her.  Did I not let her cry it out enough?  Did I not MAKE her cry enough?  Am I a total pushover because I think she is so cute?  I have asked my own parents, "What was I like as a child?" to see if I am being punished for my own rotten little girl attitude.  This chick can't take no for an answer, she doesn't respond to regular discipline, she has an attitude that I can't figure out and she must do everything her own way with no help unless she DEMANDS it from you in her frustration.  She is so particular about every little thing that I want to tear my hair out.  When I put her in time out, she just gets on up and stomps in the room and sticks her tongue out at me!  When Daddy puts her in time out, she stays there and cries.  What in the world???

I have gone from a Mom that used to love outings and never turn on the tv to a Mom who is contemplating getting video games so I don't have to deal with their crap!  They fight with each other and do things just to be mean to each other.  The little boy who used to adore his sister and fell in love at first sight, now throws her toys down the stairs just to make her cry and calls her names and says "I won't be your best friend."  The quiet sweet little girl has turned into a monster with an attitude.  I have started to regret my decision to stay home with them.  Something I have wanted and worked for all my life.  I am thinking about selling our house and moving into a trailer somewhere just so I can afford day care for Little Miss! 

I am out of patience and even the simplest of tasks feels like a huge weight on my shoulders.  I work so hard and try so hard to give them the best and they appreciate NONE of it.  I am still logical though, I know they are just kids and they don't understand the depth of my love for them or all of the sacrifices I make for them.  I know they don't understand that not all kids have a Mommy that picks them up after school and makes their lunch.  I know they don't understand that alot of families have a Mom and Dad who work long hours and not as much time to spend together as a family.  They don't value a family meal or a meal PERIOD.  They don't know that family time and family outings are special and we make them a priority.  Every kid doesn't have a zoo pass or an aquarium pass.  Every kid doesn't go to the library each week to get new books and movies and learn how the world works.  Every kid doesn't have a sibling to play with all the time, an automatic best friend and buddy with which to spend their days.

The problem is that people don't share these parts of parenting.  Parenting should be taken seriously and everyone should not be physically capable of even having babies.  This is the hardest job and most/least rewarding at the same damn time!  You don't get paid for the millions of hours you spend doing it.  If there was a way to catch all of the tears you shed during your parenting years, each family could have an in-ground pool full of saltwater in their own back yard!  The anguish we parents put ourselves through to make the best decisions for our babies is enough to give EVERY parent an anxiety problem, a heart problem AND breathing problems all in one.  They make you feel like you have never lived before them and at the very same time like you want to die!  You love and hate them in the same minute!  The difficulty that you agree to adding to your lives by having children together is immeasurable. 

Parenting is very rewarding and the fact that we were physically able to make a baby, the way our bodies are supposed to do it, that God gave us these babies is amazing.  I am still in awe of the whole process, while at the same time wondering about early retirement.  I don't hate them, although I hate their behavior sometimes.  I love them and adore them and I appreciate that God made them cute just so we let them live.  I am grateful and thank God for them and in the same breath I pray to God that I can get through each day as their loving guide in life.

Parenting.  IF the people who chose to do the job and do it well were paid, many of us would be millionaires.  Today I feel like I might even be a billionaire.

Cooking is for Chumps

Being a parent is a very thankless job...for at least the first 30 or so years.  There are many things that we do and sacrifice to give our children everything we possibly can to make their lives better and easier.  We sacrifice our clothing, walking around in sweats and underwear without elastic, so our children can have money for the book order at school or the hottest shoes.  We sacrifice our personal hygiene, skipping a hair cut or color so our kids can have gas money or play the sport they love so much.  We sacrifice all kinds of things, putting ourselves last or next to last most of the time.  I admit that I was an unappreciative kid too, until I was actually old enough to recognize my parent's sacrifices for me.  As a stay at home parent, I have to remind myself they aren't being ungrateful on purpose or to hurt my feelings.  They DO appreciate what I do for them, they just don't know it yet!

Cooking.  I used to LOVE cooking.  I loved coming up with my own recipes.  I loved cutting veggies and fresh spices and exploring new ways to cook things and use different appliances to my benefit.  I didn't care how much the spices cost or how rare they were to find, I loved it all.  Cooking for my husband and myself used to be so gratifying and I was proud of my work and he appreciated every meal.  He STILL appreciates every meal, it is these darn kids that act like I am trying to feed them poison.

I make the regular stuff like spaghetti, pizza, tacos, baked chicken, stir fry etc...  Sometimes they love these things and other times they look at it and scoff, "Ewww I hate that" even though they ate it last week and asked for seconds.  I try new stuff too and try to integrate some new things with the old HOPING to find a new family favorite.  No matter what I make, Callie walks to the table, looks at it and says, "I am NOT eating that. I don't like that!!"  So the rule at our house is you at least have to take one bite.  You are NOT allowed to say you don't like something based on looks alone, you take a bite and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it.  You don't get another choice though, this is dinner. 

So Callie looks at it like it is dog food, even if it is steak, and I try to bribe her to take her one bite and she tries to refuse so I get it on the fork to feed it to her, and she still refuses.  Eventually I tell her, "Open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise!"  She falls for it every time and I put the food in question into her mouth and most of the time she says, "yummy."  I don't want to have this "fight" I am exhausted by dinner time and most of the time I don't feel  like cooking anyway.  I only do it because I have kids and you can't just skip feeding them.  If I were to be living on my own or with another adult, I wouldn't make a thing.  I would have a pop tart or a bowl of ice cream or a few beers for dinner!! 

Cooking, which used to be something I looked forward to and had fun with is now the ultimate chore.  I hardly enjoy it at all.  Even the things I try to do specifically for them backfire in my face.  I hate cooked carrots BUT in an effort to try to get them to eat those veggies I came up with a recipe to make honey glazed carrots with butter, honey and brown sugar, that might as well have been CANDY and they still didn't like it.  I mean I used REAL butter people!  Who doesn't like something with real butter?? Crack Heads!

So now every day I am searching and thinking and pissing and moaning cause I don't want to cook dinner.  I don't want to make lunch.  I don't want to be in the kitchen 14 hours a day like I feel I am.  It is wake up and make breakfast, clean up, get people drinks or a snack about 12 seconds after breakfast is done and clean up again.  Then I look at the clock and it is time to start on lunch!  For crying out loud!!  Make lunch, watch them pick at it and barely eat a thing then ask for a snack immediately after I clean up lunch.  Sit down in the living room and, "I'm thirsty."  Back to the kitchen.  Then it is time to prep and make dinner, fight the kids to eat some damn food, remind them that I wouldn't feed them poison, or dog poop or dirt, clean up again and just when you think it is all over, "can we get a snack?"  Uh yes, it is called dinner, ENJOY!  Day after day of the same damn thing.  No wonder cooking has gotten to be a chore.  My husband appreciates every meal, like I said, he knows better than to complain cause then he will be cooking his own dang dinner every night!  The kids will compliment certain meals such as ramen noodles, spaghetti o's or a pb and j with, "This is like a restaurant Mom!"  Really?  I make homemade chicken broth by boiling down the bones of an entire chicken and Ramen is like a restaurant??!!!  Infuriating!

There is another rule at our house that goes something like this, "you don't have to eat, but you have to sit here with your family and talk about your day."  Why?  Because that is what we do here, we are a family.  So I get to thinking, why is it that we do this and feel that we must do this because we are family?  Well, now that is interesting.  We do it because our parents did the same for us.  They took on the chore of cooking, the fights, the whining and crying, the cleaning up, the 12 hour day in the kitchen and they told us that we will sit and eat and appreciate this meal...25 years from now when we are dealing with the same damn thing from our own ungrateful little brats!

What's With Those Grandpas Anyway?

When I was growing up, we lived 4 hours from my extended family.  We traveled to Michigan to visit my cousins and aunts and uncles as well as my grandparents, but it wasn't the same as most of my friends whose entire families lived in this area.  When I was about 8 years old I wrote a letter to the Maw Maw and Paw Paw across the street explaining my "situation" asking them if they would be my adopted Grandparents.  They said YES!  They always invited my brother and I over for cookouts and Easter egg hunts and always gave us McDonald's gift certificates for Christmas.

Not too long ago I ran into Paw Paw at the local gas station and thought for sure he would never remember that scrawny little girl who lived across the street.  He turned around, opened his arms and said, "Amy! Well, I'll be!"  I was shocked and I was also grateful that I had been important enough in his life, that he remembered exactly who I was because I would NEVER forget him.

He was one of those neighborhood Grandpas who always had several packs of $.25 gum in his pocket, you know the ones, Juicy Fruit and Doublemint.  Whenever he would be walking to his truck or out checking the mail and the kids were out playing, he would walk on over and give each kiddo a pack of gum.  He must have had a bazillion dollars tied up in Wrigley's!

Fast forward to right now and my "Work Grandpa" who walks around with Bullseyes in his pocket, you know the caramels with creme in the middle?  Well, I have been working there for 8 years and ever since I started, and I am sure for many years before, he walks through the halls and when he sees a buddy, he discretely hands you a Bullseye.  There are people who don't like them at all, they still take them because the gesture is so kind, how could you not?  He brings a smile to lots of folks just by having candy in his pocket for them.

At least one morning each week, we stop by Daddy's work on the way home from dropping Henry off at school.  It's an auto parts store so it is FILLED to the brim with Grandpas.  Callie loves to stop in to give Daddy a kiss and hug and of course all the Grandpas are always happy to see a kiddo in the place.  Mr. Al always come up to her and does the old "pick a hand", she always seems to pick the wrong one but he gives her a quarter anyway.  It makes her day and makes his day too.  This is the "Grandpa" that she will remember when she gets older and has her own children.  She LOVES him and is not only excited to see Daddy but to play Mr. Al's game and get her reward.  He keeps a pocketful of quarters for each and EVERY kid he runs into on a daily basis. 

Today, not only did he give her a quarter and one for Henry, who is at school, he told Callie a secret and handed her $15.  He told her to take Mommy and Henry out for lunch today after kindergarten.  I immediately gave the money to Jon and said, "can you get this back to Al? He did NOT have to do that."  Jon says, "I can, but he won't take it."  So Callie and I went on up to Mr. Al and gave him a hug and thanked him for lunch.

I know that this is one of the "Grandpas" they will remember, but we are so lucky to actually live close to one of our Grandpas, my Dad.  Already they have inside jokes with him and already there are things that will always remind them of him for as long as they live.  Poppy always makes sure to have watermelon gum for them.  Poppy gets them Zebra cakes and Fudge Rounds every time he goes to the grocery store.  I hear things come out of the kid's mouths that I know directly came from Poppy.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your long MOP!"  or  "You don't see that everyday"  or "Cashews are NOW available."  or  "Did you hear the one about the watermelon?  No? It's pitiful."  I could fill a book!

When it comes down to it, Grandpas all have the same thing in mind.  These kiddos bring smiles to their faces and they in turn want to bring smiles to their cute little faces.  Being a Grandpa is so awesome that they want to be Grandpas to all kinds of happy kiddos in the neighborhood.

Take a Lesson from the Mourning Doves

Callie noticed, on our deck out back, two birds hanging out together.  These birds are Mourning Doves and they have been with us since we first moved into our home.  They are like family to us now and always bring a smile to my face when they start to build their spring nest and honestly I get a smile on my face just seeing them together.  Where there is one, you can always spot the other.  We have seen at least three babies born to this couple and have watched them teach each and every one of their babies to fly from atop our backyard fence.

Today I told Callie that when Mourning Doves find their husband or wife, they stay with them until forever and she asked me, "Why Mommy?"  Well, I don't have the answer to this or even know why it is true but it made me think that maybe some folks should take a hint from these Doves and work harder on their marriage.  We know they aren't actually "married" per say, but once they find each other, they stay together.

Maybe they are very careful in choosing a mate.  Maybe they talk about all the major decisions they will have to make as a couple BEFORE they pair up.  Maybe they take it seriously when they have their first chick and realize that because of this baby, they are bound for life.  Maybe they only have eyes for each other and they don't even check out the other Hot Mourning Doves flying by.  I don't know why they "forsake all others" to stay together and work as a team, but they do.  This is the norm for Mourning Doves.

It is not however, the norm for us humans and it is hard for me to remember that sometimes.  I grew up with parents who were married and remain married as did my husband.  In school growing up, it wasn't all too common to have very many friends whose parents were divorced.  Now that is not the case.  The "traditional" family...wait a minute, what is that these days?  What we used to think of as the "traditional" family is now a rarity and NOT  the norm at all.  The things that are important in families these days go so far beyond the basics, it is crazy to even think about them.

I know that my children turn their noses up at some of the dinners that I make.  I know that they get annoyed that we have consequences and that if Mom says something, Dad supports it and vice versa (why do they have to be such a team with the rules??)  Taking a break from playing to have bath time and get your things ready for school the next day is ANNOYING.  Working on homework TOGETHER just tests everyone's patience.  Why do we have to talk about major decisions like pets or buying a family pass to somewhere or planning a family vacation over and over and over again before we can just do it?!  Why do we have to help with yard work, clean the living room, brush our teeth and clear the table of our dishes???  How come when Daddy is working, Mommy is home and when Mommy is working, Daddy his home?

These are all things that we make conscious decisions about in order to support having a "traditional" family dynamic.  I am not saying that other ways are wrong, in fact I remind you, we are NOT the norm.  I know that for us though, being the norm isn't what is important, we want to be different if it means having a loving and stable family with rules and parents who are willing to work hard at their marriage.  I want to be different if it means that when we have problems we don't give up or go outside of the marriage to try to solve them.  I want to be different if it means that we don't always have family time together on the weekend because my kids are with Daddy while I am working and not another babysitter.  I want to be different if it means I have a spouse who accepts my faults along with my great qualities too.  I want to be different if it means that now that I have found my mate, and we have made children together and built a nest together, we both take it seriously enough to stay together forever and ever even when it is hard and we want to "fly the coup."  I want to be different if it means that this is my partner for life and together we will have a solid family, we will work hard to keep it together and we will mourn each other when after 60 years together there is only one of us left on the porch swing watching the sunset.

I love our Mourning Doves and will never cease to be amazed and overjoyed when the two of them are in the tree together or on the fence together or sitting on the front steps of our porch...TOGETHER.

The Weight of the World

Friday afternoon, while I was tucking Callie in for a nap, Henry was fast at work in his room.  He was still working on this piece when I got in there to read to him and asked if he could finish.  While I watched him color in his muscles (he he) I sat back in awe at what I was seeing.  I'll admit it, this picture brought a happy tear to my eye.  I almost can't even find the words to explain how happy it makes me feel.  I want to put it on a t-shirt and wear it around with pride.

As I looked at the picture of my son (it's a self portrait) and his bulging biceps carrying a rainbow I felt many emotions.  See it made me think of a few important things.  The first being that a rainbow weighs NOTHING.  It is a reflection of light after a rain.  It is something beautiful and rare that comes after a storm.  It is the reward for the rough times.  Here is Henry holding it high in the sky.

The second thing it made me think of is the phrase "Carrying the Weight of the World on Your Shoulders."  This phrase is mostly thought of negatively and you hear it when people are going through alot of hell at one time.  It is personal.  It is heavy.  It is ever present in a difficult time.  Friends who are arguing, parents who have lost a child, people who cannot pay their bills or afford groceries, people with more things to do than time in the day, people who have lost a home or a job, these are the people who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

So then let's get deep for a minute, and if you don't wanna then quit reading now.  This is your only warning.

What if after a storm, after a difficult day or year, after a major loss or struggle, a rainbow is God holding up a gift for you?  See the rainbow NEVER weighs a thing so it isn't necessary to "lift" it up, but for those of you who catch sight of a rainbow every once in awhile maybe you should stop and think that it is a gift from God.  God is holding it up for YOU, not because it weighs a bunch and he is trying to show off his muscles,  but because the weight of the world seems to be on your shoulders and you are not seeing the rainbow that is your reward for weathering the storm.  It is also a reminder that God is the one who carries the true weight of your world and a rainbow just reminds you that you are not alone.

Cheesy? Maybe so, but I have no idea, NO IDEA where this particular idea came from in my 5 year old son's mind.  I know that he can draw a bunch of things.  I know that he thinks his Daddy is the strongest guy in the world and he wants to be strong like him.  I know that he could have drawn a variety of things on his chalkboard that day but this takes the cake.  This drawing that came from his imagination was truly a gift from God for his Mother and I couldn't love it any more than I do.

In Memory of Joshua Alan Brown 6-27-1991 - 1-8-2011

 

Two years ago, Jon and I were chatting in the living room when the phone rang.  It was Jimmy, one of his oldest buddies and he asked me, "Can I grab it?"  Sure, do some catching up with Jimmy.  Jon disappeared into the bedroom and after a long while I went to see what was up and came upon him with tears running down his cheeks.  This is not something I ever see Jon do so I knew, I knew something was horribly wrong.  On January 8, 2011 Joshua had been riding his motorcycle when he had an accident that took his life.  Jon's close and dear friend had lost his child.  Josh was just 19 years old.

Trying to imagine how they were feeling and what they were going through was impossible.  Many nights Jon and I just cried thinking about the weight of it all.  You can't help but try to put yourself in that situation, yet you will NEVER understand fully the depth of despair that it is to lose your own unless it happens to you.  From then on, whenever Jimmy called, no matter what we were doing or where we were I told Jon, "you HAVE to answer it.  He needs you."  Most times, Jon would just listen. He would listen and cry with him or yell with him or curse the world with him and the two of them would just BE...together.

We were fortunate to be able to have Jimmy and Teresa as overnight guests some time after that and it was so great to be together.  We talked about Joshua (who I had never had the pleasure of meeting), listened to his music (he was a rapper and had many demo songs), looked at photographs and relived those devastatingg moments with our friends as they retold the story of his last night on this earth before entering heaven.

To say that Jon and I "knew what we were doing" or "knew what to say" is grossly WRONG in this case.  However, Jon and I consider the Brown family OUR extended family so we did what family is supposed to do, we hugged, laughed, cried and listened.  We feel that keeping Joshua's memory alive is part of our job as family and friends so we continue to remember him always.

This year will mark his 2 year anniversary of arriving in heaven and rapping with the angels.  Did you know that angels love rap music?  This is the hardest time of the year for our friends, but they celebrate Joshua with a candle light vigil in their backyard garden which is planted in memory of Josh.  They live in the Tampa area so we cannot be there for the celebration this year but as always we are sending our prayers, love and support to them and as always we will cherish the memories and keep Josh alive in our hearts by talking about him and letting the world know about one of the newest angels in heaven.   

Amen Omen

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

What started as a whisper
Slowly turned into a scream
Searching for an answer
Where the question is unseen
I don't know where you came from
And i don't know where you've gone
Old friends become old strangers
Between the darkness and the dawn
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you
I still hear you saying
All of life is a chance
And is sweetest
When at a glance
But i live a hundred
Lifetimes in one day
But i die a little
In every breath that i take
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you
I listen to a whisper
Slowly drift away
Silence is the loudest
Parting word you never say
I put your world
Into my veins
Now a voiceless sympathy
Is all that remains
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you

This song came on this morning and now I have listened to it a thousand times.  It reminds me of Josh.  It reminds me of the loss our dear friends have been dealing with for the last two years.  It reminds me that life is short and we have to cherish all it's moments.  Please read the lyrics again and look up the song and listen to it in memory of Joshua Alan Brown, who left this earth too soon.  To the Brown family, we love you dearly and will celebrate Josh's life with you always.