I am self proclaimed, "Bad at Playing." I don't think I was always this way but now with two kids I feel I am terrible at playing. I can't sit down and relax and just play. I am constantly cleaning up WHILE playing or thinking of all the crap I have to do around here. I am just no good at it. As soon as I perceive the kids to be occupied, I am up and running and doing something else like laundry, dishes, putting things away etc...
I had this conversation with my husband last night, about how I just CAN'T enjoy playing. I want to. I wish I could. All I can think about when I sit down to play is, "if I play now and contribute to the mess, all of this work will just be waiting for me when I am done. Then it will be even worse than it is already!" My husband explained to me that when guys hang out, they hang out while doing something. They golf, work out, help in the yard or the house, work on cars and stuff like that. Social time for dudes is active time. Social time for women, in his male opinion, is spent chatting and forming relationships, so we don't have the patience for playing because we feel like we aren't doing anything significant and we are just wasting time.
Ok, so I don't let my husband know very often if he is spot on about us ladies or if he is so far off he can shut it. I do think that some of what he said is valid. In fact, he is actually very good at understanding my point of view most times. He could sit around and play and completely destroy the house and have no ill feelings about it. Of course he doesn't, because I will come behind and clean it all up right?! I don't say that in a mean way, but it is true and it is just how we are wired.
I am conscious of this, which I think is half the battle, so I am working on it. I am reminding myself everyday of the quality time I am so lucky to have with the kids, and that not everyone has this time. Also, this time is short and it won't be long before they don't want me hugging them in front of their friends and they don't think hanging out with Mom is fun at all! I don't want to look back and wish I had more time. Living day after day with them, it is easy to forget this and just feel the stress and overwhelming feelings that come with parenting and running a household. I literally have to remind myself every day to keep on top of it. I will keep on top of it too, because I find my relationship as their parent to be an important one and I am more than willing to put in the hard work it takes to foster our relationship. Gonna have my off days, but I love them and I take parenting them very seriously.
So this morning in an effort to be a better "player" I decided we were going to make donuts and we were going to make a mess! It was so much fun! We made the dough and I let the kids cut out all the donut holes, then I fried them and they covered them in cinnamon sugar and powdered sugar and there was sugar EVERYWHERE! It was all over the kitchen and all over us and we had a blast! Callie asked me what real food we were going to have to eat before we were allowed to have donuts...the donuts are the breakfast baby!
This may not be "playing" in it's traditional sense but it was out of character for me, relinquishing control and letting them just be messy kids isn't easy for this OCD Mama, and everyone got along and had a good time and filled our tummies with more donut holes than necessary all in the name of fun. I am working at this and I think that this is a pretty good first step in the right direction.
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