In Memory of Joshua Alan Brown 6-27-1991 - 1-8-2011

 

Two years ago, Jon and I were chatting in the living room when the phone rang.  It was Jimmy, one of his oldest buddies and he asked me, "Can I grab it?"  Sure, do some catching up with Jimmy.  Jon disappeared into the bedroom and after a long while I went to see what was up and came upon him with tears running down his cheeks.  This is not something I ever see Jon do so I knew, I knew something was horribly wrong.  On January 8, 2011 Joshua had been riding his motorcycle when he had an accident that took his life.  Jon's close and dear friend had lost his child.  Josh was just 19 years old.

Trying to imagine how they were feeling and what they were going through was impossible.  Many nights Jon and I just cried thinking about the weight of it all.  You can't help but try to put yourself in that situation, yet you will NEVER understand fully the depth of despair that it is to lose your own unless it happens to you.  From then on, whenever Jimmy called, no matter what we were doing or where we were I told Jon, "you HAVE to answer it.  He needs you."  Most times, Jon would just listen. He would listen and cry with him or yell with him or curse the world with him and the two of them would just BE...together.

We were fortunate to be able to have Jimmy and Teresa as overnight guests some time after that and it was so great to be together.  We talked about Joshua (who I had never had the pleasure of meeting), listened to his music (he was a rapper and had many demo songs), looked at photographs and relived those devastatingg moments with our friends as they retold the story of his last night on this earth before entering heaven.

To say that Jon and I "knew what we were doing" or "knew what to say" is grossly WRONG in this case.  However, Jon and I consider the Brown family OUR extended family so we did what family is supposed to do, we hugged, laughed, cried and listened.  We feel that keeping Joshua's memory alive is part of our job as family and friends so we continue to remember him always.

This year will mark his 2 year anniversary of arriving in heaven and rapping with the angels.  Did you know that angels love rap music?  This is the hardest time of the year for our friends, but they celebrate Joshua with a candle light vigil in their backyard garden which is planted in memory of Josh.  They live in the Tampa area so we cannot be there for the celebration this year but as always we are sending our prayers, love and support to them and as always we will cherish the memories and keep Josh alive in our hearts by talking about him and letting the world know about one of the newest angels in heaven.   

Amen Omen

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

What started as a whisper
Slowly turned into a scream
Searching for an answer
Where the question is unseen
I don't know where you came from
And i don't know where you've gone
Old friends become old strangers
Between the darkness and the dawn
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you
I still hear you saying
All of life is a chance
And is sweetest
When at a glance
But i live a hundred
Lifetimes in one day
But i die a little
In every breath that i take
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you
I listen to a whisper
Slowly drift away
Silence is the loudest
Parting word you never say
I put your world
Into my veins
Now a voiceless sympathy
Is all that remains
Amen Omen
Will i see your face again
Amen Omen
Can i find the place within
To live my life without you

This song came on this morning and now I have listened to it a thousand times.  It reminds me of Josh.  It reminds me of the loss our dear friends have been dealing with for the last two years.  It reminds me that life is short and we have to cherish all it's moments.  Please read the lyrics again and look up the song and listen to it in memory of Joshua Alan Brown, who left this earth too soon.  To the Brown family, we love you dearly and will celebrate Josh's life with you always.